How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
