You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
