his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
