You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
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Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
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Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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