Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
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I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.