So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
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Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
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i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.