Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
