Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
