I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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