so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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