I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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