Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
