Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
