my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
