if you like me you must not know who I am
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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