just come out here and I will go home with you...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
