the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
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I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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