so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
