my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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