Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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