You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
