She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize