I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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