omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
