only if we run a train.
done.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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