I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize