yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
