She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
