im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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