My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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