We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
