Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
