Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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