Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
