i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
