it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
