What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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