I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
