Tell her she can't have a vagina
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize