I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
