Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
