All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
