How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
