you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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