You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
