I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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