I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
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I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
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I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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