i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my poor anus
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
