i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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