Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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