Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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