Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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