Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
