Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize