Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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