i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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