Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize