I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize