I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
