Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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