Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
